Balancing Beam

I never liked gym class.  I know it was because I was afraid.
Afraid to try.
Afraid to fail.

I remember the long ropes hanging from the ceiling of my elementary school gym.
Year after year...they-
TAUNTED ME--like they were laughing at me-
as I hung there by my limp arms-
first grade
second grade--
SIXTH grade

I never made it up those ropes.

I work in the district I grew up in---
I am seen those ropes many times in the past 8 years.
They no longer taunt me...instead
they HAUNT me.

How come I could never do it?
Other girls could.
(hello, inadequacy)

I thought for a while that I might work out really hard so I could climb them
CONQUER them
but ...what the hell would that mean?
how would THAT change my life?

So, now, here I am -- a failure at rope climbing.
and trying to walk the balance beam of my new life...

The ropes, I suspect--would have been easier.