week 18 of 40 6/26/2012

I have been out of school for the summer for about 2 weeks.  In that time, I have celebrated (over and over), purchased a car, attended a training and retreat (closed one door, opened another), traveled to Napa (oh glory!), shopped, played lots and lots with my incredible little 7 month old girl (who is almost crawling and is getting her top two teeth, as well as finding her LOUD voice), cut my own bangs (scarier than you may think--do YOU want to look like it's your first day of school in the 2nd grade??), went on some wonderful date nights with my hubby (thank you Nana and Grandpa), been out to lunch and breakfast (food somehow tastes better when the sun is shining), attended the wedding of a dear friend (love love love), and had some pretty intense conversations of all sorts with many different people (and when I say of all sorts, ...well, I mean it)...

For the last three years, as June comes around, I think about 4 years ago in June.  It was the summer of 2008, and I like to refer to it as the summer of debaucery-the summer of deliciousness-the summer of dreams-a dreamy, dreamy summer...

It started with cool nights on the patio...cool nights that never ended.  It started with the amazing birth of my best friend's second daughter, and the realization that making a baby wasn't so easy (more on that in a future post).

It started with me --very thin--and pretty happy about it (although no one can stop eating altogether!).  It started with two weddings-one for my brother and one for a sweet, lifelong friend.  It started with friends and timelessly good songs on the ipod--nights playing scrabble--fires that burned long past midnight. 

It was filled with time on the boat (and one ride that was particularly memorable).  It was filled with a ladies 80's night and many happy hours on just about every patio in the city-so many such that we referred to our visits as the Patio Tour 2008. It was filled with long bike rides, attempts at playing tennis, and walks at the park. It was filled with looking for the first star in the sky each night--a tradition on our patio to this day.

In that summer, we made grilled pizza, juicy steaks, and drank lots of wine..

We talked about somedays and yesterdays.

Secrets were told and shared...
some of those secrets are still -secrets-
secrets that have held on, held fast, staying.

It was the summer we never wanted to let go ...

We stretched that summer and all those summer evenings long into the chilly evenings of November...and in January, when we had a summery day over Winter break, we rushed out to capture the feeling of summer, drinking frosty cold Bud Lights with no winter jackets.  

It was the summer...a summer that we held so tightly, we were sure it was holding us back-just as tightly...not to let go...


I miss that summer...for many reasons.  Something special happened in those months. Looking back, it was a summer that really could never be repeated...and now its place in time reminds me that some things have a place in time--there for a moment or two, and then they slip away, melt away...dissolve.

...and sometimes, if you are really lucky, those special things don't go...but rather they evolve.

evolve...

into something just as special, but in a different way--completely incongruent to the former, but lovely all the same and all the different.

evolve...

yes, it's been a year, and a year, and a year...

and those pieces that linger...

they linger so they can evolve...

and I am watching, learning, moving...because those pieces, the ones that are lingering--I'm not ready to let go of--and just maybe, they aren't ready to let go either...