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Sunday, June 3, 2012

June 3rd 2012...week 15 of 40

"all these tapes keep running in my head"~alanis morrisette

So long ago, we made "mix tapes" for our friends-the people we were dating.  I have made COUNTLESS tapes (or cd's)...when I say COUNTLESS, I mean it!!

The "tapes" I make tell stories--this is a topic I will probably revisit again-many times.

this week, the mix tape of my life was confusing.
a myriad of wants, needs, maybes

"I know way too many people that I didn't know last year, who the F are you all..."
"I can't get to sleep-I think about the implications...of diving in too deep, and possibly the complications"
"another round-another round-I want another round"
"what a wonderful life" "bring on the evening hours...I cry"

This week, I realized that I can only hide for so long before the real me emerges...
and makes herself known. 
When I am happy
I show it...
When I am mad, it is obvious
...and when I am sad--which I have been trying to hide, it pours out
like the water from a faucet
...and there is no hiding.

I learned this week, even as real as I am
sometimes I try to hide
only to fail

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