So I have to combine the last two weeks. I want to say that I have been busy, but the truth is…I have been hiding away~avoiding some things. I am not typically an “avoider,” but I actually heard myself tell someone this week, “I just don’t care.” It wasn’t about anything important, but I really did not care. AT ALL…
Lately, I have been-
Invisible
literally and figuratively.
A few evenings ago when I was mulling over things in my usual obcessed fashion…I picked up my Oprah magazine. It was all about advice. One of the first things I flipped to said, “the first draft is not the final draft.” This could not be more fitting for my journey this year.
Since turning 40, I have really worked hard to embrace all that is happening—to my family, in my career, to my face (eek). And I have stumbled so many times, but the best thing that has happened now that I am 40, is that I know ME. I know that those stumbles are not a definition of me, but rather part of the path. I know that I WILL get back up, and I KNOW that I will make better choices, better decisions, eliminate things that are not worth my time so I can focus on what matters. Halfway through this 40 thing, I KNOW myself. I know what others don’t know yet. I know that in 6 months, my life is going to completely different than it looks right now (and looking forward to seeing the view). I know this because I KNOW I am WILLING to do the WORK to grow and change and evolve into a better me. I know what it means to have to fight for something…to believe in myself more than anyone else because I answer to ME. I know what others have yet to learn…that when things get handed to you-you don’t appreciate them-truly, deeply, in a lasting way.
I know what some others may have not figured out-just yet---when you want something badly enough, you don’t sit around and wish it, you make it.
My face may not look as smooth, but so far, 40 is becoming more and more beautiful to me…
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